hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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