you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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