Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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