yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
