you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
