Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
