32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
