I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize