i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
