I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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