Swine flu. Run for my life!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
A+ Viking dick
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
