Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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