Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize