If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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