I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Holy shit dude........stairs
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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