i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
