she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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