Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
