i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I know her cup size but not her name....
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