Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
