Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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