I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
