I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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