And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
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Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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