It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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