I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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