so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
