Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
