its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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