i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
