You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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