Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
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Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
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I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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