his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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