i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
