I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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