Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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