I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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