Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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