just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
