I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
