She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sobbing to NWA
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?