i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?