I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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