I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
