I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize