I just threw up on my dentist
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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