Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
