They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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