..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
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Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
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So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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