No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
