girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
