Swine flu. Run for my life!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
