I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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