If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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