I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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