Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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